The Geriatricos (April '12)

The news that Raul is due to be released by Shalke 04 in the summer was almost enough to make grown men misty-eyed - the prospect of the Madrid legend indulging in a second swansong at your club warms the cockles, regardless of his age.

Not all ancient footballers evoke the same romanticism - think Michael Owen at Manchester United - but there remains a crop of stalwarts still plying their trade across Europe who would be welcomed with open arms at whichever club they chose to retire at.

I give you - The Geriatricos.

Goalkeeper - Gianluigi Buffon - A relative youngster - especially for a goalkeeper - at 34 years old, Buffon seems to have been around forever. Widely regarded as one of the world's best for the last 15 years, and a World Cup winner in 2006.

Full-Back - Michel Salgado - Currently stuck in a rut winding down his contract at the Cirque De Blackburn, Salgado was fantastic during his ten-year stint at Real Madrid.

Centre-Half - Alessandro Nesta - Maturing much like former partner-in-crime Maldini, it's now been almost 20 years since Nesta first appeared for Lazio. World Cup winner and European Cup winner - twice.

Full-Back - Roberto Carlos - Now pushing 40, Carlos is currently with mega-rich Russian side Anzhi Makhachkala. He was renowned for his free-kicks - after his Confederations Cup stunner against France - but in truth he was pretty naff at them.

Midfield - David Beckham - He may have sacrificed the back-end of his career by heading for the glitz and glamour of LA - but he still owns the world's best right-foot.

Midfield - Paul Scholes - The 37 year old saviour of Manchester United's season. Metronomic, flawless passing mixed with amusing, play-ground tackling.

Midfield - Clarence Seedorf - He's won the European Cup 4 times with 3 clubs in a career spanning 20 years. A refreshing presence alongside messrs Lineker and Hansen during the BBC's 2010 World Cup coverage.

Midfield - Juan Carlos Valeron - Lynchpin of the Deportivo side which reached the European Cup semi-final in 2004. Adored at the Riazor.

Attack - Alessandro Del Piero - Made the most appearances and scored the most goals in the history of the mighty Juventus - staying with them despite their forced season long stint in the Serie B.

Attack - Ruud Van Nistelrooy - Lionel Messi recently reached his 50th Champions League goal after 66 games, Ruud managed it in 62. Prolific.

Attack - Raul - 323 goals in 741 matches for Real Madrid along with every trophy imaginable. Matured like a fine wine at Shalke 04 - now a free agent.

Adopting a 3-4-3 formation, it's a team of nostalgia and class. If games finished after 30 minutes, they'd be unbeatable.

'Stand up, if you hate Melbourne'.

For all the rivalry between the two countries, Australian football fans are keen to follow in the footsteps of their English counterparts.

Australia is a sporting giant.

Decades of ‘Pommy-bashing’ – including a jinx held over the English cricket team which at times verged on the sadistic – have helped forged a rivalry of great quality, enjoyment and more often than not, torment.

But when it comes to football – or soccer - Australian influence in Britain is comparatively negligible.

Granted, there was Craig Johnston - the mid-80s Liverpool winger who designed the Adidas Predator – and Tim Cahill’s sporadic corner flag abuse was afforded fleeting bemusement.

Aside from this, a sprinkling of distinctly average footballers – think Brett Emerton, Lucas Neill or Vince Grella – is pretty much all Australia have had to offer.

Heading down-under, it was this which made it difficult to be anything but sceptical about the prospect of the Hyundai A-League providing my fix of live football.

The A-League is largely void of the stardust the likes of Thierry Henry, and of course David Beckham, have sprinkled over America’s MLS. Average yearly league attendances only just creep above the 10,000 mark, and the football is largely considered to be absolute dross.

Still, I couldn’t resist dipping my toe in the water and heading to a game – Emerton’s laser-blue clad Sydney FC against the Newcastle Jets – a local derby and a match pivotal to both sides play-off chances.

The football was, as expected, very poor. The sluggish pace made Emerton look like Zidane and suggested even the Jet’s bench-warmer and perma-crock Francis Jeffers wouldn’t have been out of his depth.

Yet the football aside, my A-League debut was an enjoyable experience. We stood on ‘The Cove’ – Sydney’s answer to the Stretford End – where the influence of Europe, and particularly Britain, on Australian fan culture was clear. Alongside the swathes of banners and flags, the 15,000 crowd sang songs normally heard on terraces across England at 3pm on a Saturday - ‘They’re Sydney, they’re barmy, they’re off their f****n’ heads’.

As the game progressed, so too did the atmosphere. Whereas it’s a heinous crime to be seen with alcohol on an English terrace – it’s paramount to heresy to be seen without it in Australia. Stewards were also incredibly lenient with any persistent standing, and barely lifted an eye when a missile was launched at the away team’s goalkeeper after Sydney’s winning third goal –although admittedly, it was only a tennis ball.

It isn’t just the football which appears to have been ‘Anglicised’ either.

Watching my adopted local Rugby League team – the South Sydney Rabbitohs – was again reminiscent of watching football at home, as the ‘Bunnies’ fans raised their beers to ‘Drink a drink, to Sutton the king’. They even had one ditty set to the seemingly inescapable ‘Sloop John B’.

The parallels between English and Australian fan culture are clear. Given that the A-League was only incepted in 2004 and that the Premier League has such large global influence – this is hardly surprising.

It appears that for once, the Aussies are willing to take a lead from their great Pommy rivals.